“Baby, what are you doing in my room?” She asked, and made toward me.
“I-I was cleaning.” I swallowed hard, still clinging to the diary behind me.
“Cleaning? Oh, baby, you shouldn’t have bothered about it. Josephine’s there, you know?”
I forced a smile. “Don’t worry, mum. I’m done already.”
Her eyebrows arched up at the answer I had given, as I excused myself, not wanting to talk to her.
“Baby, what’s wrong?” She caught my hand. “Why don’t you want to talk to mommy?” She questioned with a worried tone
And I said, “Don’t worry, mommy. It’s nothing.” I shook my head and continued, “Besides, I don’t want to talk about it, especially not to you.”
“Oh, you better do, young lady cause I don’t understand why you’ve been acting this way.” She raised her voice.
“Mum, can you just stop?! I don’t wanna talk about it… period!” I slipped my arm out of hers angrily.
“Just leave me alone!” I shouted and moved backwards – and turned my back on her as I left the room for her.
I sobbed uncontrollably in my room, knowing I had hurt her with my words. But she deserved it. How can she be keeping something so big from me? If Patrick ever turned out right about him being my dad, it’d be really drastic. My tears kept flowing to the extent I didn’t know when I drifted off to sleep – the sharp smell of a week old bread awakening me, as my eyes slide open, making me realize I was on the bathroom floor. What am I doing her? I asked with surprise, and ran my hand on the doorhandle without wasting time.
It came open and I walked out, realizing that I was no more in my room but on the porch, as I wondered how I had gotten there. The bathroom led to my room, so how come I ended up on the from porch? I gave a slight thought about it, and concluded that my situation was bewilderingly unclear. The whole place was without light; with the creepy sound of crickets and frogs filling the night, as the hooting of an owl got my legs trembling on the ground. I pushed the door open and a dark empty room came into sight. I was forced to move in, blindly locating the switch with my fingers, as all the lights in the house came on at one push. Weird!
“Hey, sweetie. You’re back.”
I watched mum walk toward the dinning as she clasped a pan.
“Back from where?” I stood dazed for a minute, giving my eyes several rolls. “Where am I exactly? And what happened to our house? I asked one at a time, not recognizing our living room, which had litters of all kinds, with the once milky coated wall now black, making it look like a villain’s lair. The brown sofas which mum had the housekeepers clean all day were now torn and dusty, with cobwebs gathered on every angle. “What happened here? And by the way, where is dad? I wanna see him.” I demanded, making towards the stairs.
She uttered no word but called to his attention, “Honey, our daughter’s back.”
Back? What does she mean by that? I’ve always been here.
I heard the steps creak as a man in a white polo and jockey shorts came running down them.
Since when did those steps creak, I paused for a second, looking up at the buff figure in front of me. Whoa. Dad sure did gain a lot of weight. How come? I wondered, not taking my eyes off him.
“Welcome, honey.” His head came up fully, revealing his face
“Oh my God!!”
It’s happening already.
It isn’t dad.
I jerked up before I could complete my words, my pants increasing.
I turned at the sound of a voice, realizing I wasn’t the only one in my room. “Wh-who are you?”
“Your lost daddy is home!”
I screamed so loud—
“Tricia… Tricia, what is it? What’s happening? What’s wrong?” Mum’s panicky voice rolled in at the swing of the door.
“Mum… mum… mum -” My constant breathing didn’t let me talk. I was happy mum was there at that moment, and I rushed into her arms, holding her tight, for fear of that horrible man with a scar carved on his face, coming back. It was a dream after all, I realized – shutting my eyes as I relieved myself of the shock.
“So, ready to tell me all about your dream?”
I kept mute, no words ready to come out as I looked to where I had placed mum’s diary. It was still on the shelf, good – it was better there as she won’t be able to see it.
“Are you still angry with me? Huh?”
“I don’t know, mum. Are you hiding anything?” I asked with brows raised.
“Honey, you know I can never hide anything from you.”
I scoffed. “Great. Why do I have this feeling that you are?” I moved my lap from under her hand, and threw my head away.
“Believe me, sweetie. I’m telling you the truth.”
I looked back at her as my brows got raised. “Really? If you’re really telling me the truth, then why do your eyes keep moving?” I threw her a smirk.
“Oh, holy Jeez. If you know something, baby, why don’t you just tell me?” Her expression grew into an angry one. “You know really well that your mother cannot hide anything from you. Why are you acting this way?”
“I’m acting this way cause there’s some guy claiming to be my father out there. Who won’t get fussy at the sound?!”
“Some guy?” My mum’s eyes widened. “Baby, who the hell told you that… and who is this fella you’re talking about?”
Her questions sounded genuine. Maybe mum isn’t hiding anything. “You’re seriously not hiding anything from me, mommy?” I stopped making circles on the sheet and looked up at her.
“Of course, sweetheart. You know I’ll never do that.” She pulled me into a hug and began caressing my hair.
I loved the way her fingers teased the nape of my neck, and I couldn’t help but giggle.
“So you’re not angry with me anymore, are you?”
I pulled away from her and answered with a smile. “Not at all, mommy. I trust you.” I moved back into her arms, and she wrapped them warmly around me.
I didn’t worry about seeing Patrick again. Mum was right. I shouldn’t have doubted her in the first place.
I was now ready to go back to school. I went shopping with mum, bought some things for school and got back home ready to get them all packed in my box. I was sure Phillip had gone back to school on the first day, because I knew that he wouldn’t miss it for anything. But there was something missing. One I couldn’t help but think about all the time – Chelsea. This was the time that I was going to feel her absence more than anything. It looked as if she was still here, and I could feel her whenever memories of both of us flooded my mind – her favorite chair, the way she enjoyed those tasty lasagnas… all were hard to forget.
Mum walked in few minutes later so she could check up on me. And I had promise me that she and dad were going to be all right when I’m gone.
The search for James’ body was still ongoing, and I was starting to wonder if he was really dead, or he just went into hiding or such. I didn’t want him bothering my life ever again, and wished he wouldn’t try coming close to me— or even thinking of harming me.
I also promised myself never to go back to my old ways but to be that girl daddy and mommy have always wanted.
☆ TBC ☆
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Okay, I’m kind of having a hard time creating this story, with the ideas and everything coming in bits… unlike before. I just noticed. I don’t know if it’s because of the loss or what, but I’m still shaken from it. I wanted to take a week off, but I realized that I won’t be doing any good if I did that, because of the people that are reading. This time of year have been really… really bad, I must say. But with God, I know we can overcome anything… no matter the situation.
May the souls of the departed rest in perfect peace. Amen.