It's me, it's the girl you broke. The girl that gave you her heart. Laid it bare for you. Walked you through her being, opened doors to rooms she'd kept shut for they are too dark, too painful, too ugly. She stood bare and naked, showed you part of herself she is not proud of just because she wanted you to understand her so that if you chose to love her, you would love her for who she is completely and truly.
I was wondering how you are, or maybe I am a little bit curious if you think of me, do you? Or maybe I just wanted to show up just so you don't forget me, not yet, I mean not so soon.
Does it hurt? Do you cry yourself to sleep like I do? Is there a lump of sadness in your chest that makes it so hard to breath? Because I am not sure that it hurts you like it hurts me just like I'm not sure of everything you ever said to me.
Were you an illusion? Was it all in my head? I would have sworn that the look in your eyes when you swore you'd never hurt me was genuine. Your touch and your kisses? And if they were, why ain't you here right now? Why was it so easy to give up on me, on us!?
I gave too much and you just took but never gave. I gave until I had nothing more to give, exhausted and drained I crawled in a corner and you didn't notice, you didn't pick me up instead you waited for more to take until you couldn't anymore. Maybe that is the danger when you love someone too much.
I should have known this is the love that hurts when I forced "I love you too" out of your mouth. When I ended up apologizing for you hurting me. When forgetfulness was the reason for every of our misunderstanding. I should have stopped when loving you stopped being a delight and started feeling like work.
I have a million reasons not to love you. It should be easier walking away because clearly you were in love with how I loved you, with how I wanted you to love me back but we don't always get the things we want but I really wanted you to be the one, my one.
How can I erase your memories, how can I unfeel the feeling of your face in my hands? How can I unsee you in my mind? How can I unlearn to love you? In the core of my heart I still hope that you would fight for me, fight for us maybe it's not too late to start over but you'd never know about my hopes because this is the letter I'll never send.