The Darkness For A Love Strongly Felt.

By Mukami kuria 7 months ago

I have grown to embrace the idea that one day I'll die but the idea of loosing those I love to death it's still something I can't entertain.well,does that change the reality of our fate? No it doesn't.Lets divert our conversation from the inevitable happening to life after.They say grief is love with no where to go,the lump on your throat,the hollow between your chest, the fine line on your cheeks and the puffy red eyes it's love.I lost my grandmother on May last year.It was a difficult time but also very confusing.people grief differently and there are basically no rules to grief it's okay to laugh when you miss them,to cry,to breath heavily,to scream,to be numb.Grief is nature letting in only that which we can handle.Grief is not something you move on from it's something you live through because you will never let your loved ones go, you will never be comfortable with their demise. This kind of pain changes you ,it alters your life you begin to see life differently it makes compassionate,a forgiver,a giver,it stretches your heart to love more.There is alot of guilt too,you wish you had treated them better, you visited them more often,you told them you love them,you called often,you forgave them and that it's still a stage of grief when you feel you didn't do enough.When granny left,I often wondered about her last days was she happy? Did she feel lonely? Did she feel loved? Did she experience too much pain? Answers I'll never get answers for.we are not promised tomorrow today is all we've got.We live life mostly for tomorrow even when today is okay we worry of what's to come forgetting life is short.We need to start thinking of death to know that we carry our death daily,if we did we would have courage to take bold steps we postpone for tomorrow,leave that job and pursue your passion,take that dance class,travel that country but most importantly prepare your heart for eternal life live each day like it was the last one,live the best way you can that even if you get privileged to see another day you will carry no regrets.So today make that call to your distant aunt,Forgive that childhood friend who broke your heart,this weekend go see your grandparents and let them know you love them.lets not save some conversations for the graveyard and if you have recently lost someone it gets easier though it never goes away,feel it grief is the price we pay for love.philippians 1:21 for to me,to live is Christ and to die is gain. May your heart be comforted.

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