I wasn't ready, but I didn't want to be alone. It wasn't just me, I don't think anyone wants to be alone. So when he called, I spoke happily I laughed loudly. It was easy and it was fun. I started looking forward to his calls, his texts, smiling at his pictures. I was falling.
But it seemed he already had. He called me every day for hours. I knew I wasn't ready, but I didn't want to hold back. I just came out of a serious relationship, the breakup had been bad, words had been exchanged but I didn't want to hold back. Someone like this may not come along again.
So I threw my energies into it. I loved him like there was nothing else left, like my life depended on it. We laughed, we danced, we ate, we talked. Things happened fast, I was in love, although some of my demons still haunted me. But I was in love, I couldn't help myself.
Then it happened, he proposed. I couldn't believe my eyes. The ring was gigantic, a gold piece topped by a massive diamond. In my best restaurant, he got down on one knee and he asked the question.
"No," was my answer. The timing was perfect but I wasn't ready.