Forgiveness, panacea to marriage conflicts
By Okechukwu Keshi Ukegbu (08021148862)
On daily basis, marriages are crashing across the globe.Even our legal instruments are not helping matters as they are employed easily by those who preside over our law courts to dissolve marriages- without recourse to the biblical injunction" what God has put together, no man should put assunder".
If the parties to these marriage conflicts had learned to forgive, the spate of divorces could have been reduced to an encouraging level.The consequences of broken home are multi- dimensional. It affects virtually al, parties associated with the marriage-the children, father, mother, even the extended family. If these implications were put into consideration before parties to the marriage opt for divorce as a last resort, they couldn't have contemplated divorce.
The children psychology is badly shattered. In such situation, the society becomes the potential victim as the children unleash this negative psyche on the society.Most times, children of broken homes subsequently become victims of broken homes and the cycle becomes vicious.
On the side of the woman, it inflicts a perpetual stigma that would be hard to shake- off. She is ridiculed in the compound, the streets, the markets, and whereevr she goes. To say that the experience would subject to an object of caricature is an understatement. If strict caution is not applied, both parties- the manm and the woman- would be exposed to promiscuity. The consequence in this direction is that either or both parties may be vulnerable Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs), and if care is not taken may fall victim of the dreaded Human Immune Virus (HIV), which graduates to Acquired Immuno Defiency Syndrome (AIDS). If the situation degenerates to this abysmal level, the children would be rendered orphans and face a very bleak future.
The multi- million question here is:"Why didn't the either or both parties of the coonflict explored the theme of forgiveness before the conflict degenerated. Conflict is ineveitable in every human relationship- be it indidividual or corporate. What is important is how the conflict is managed. A badly managed conflict degenerates and leaves sour taste on the mouth of the parties. The Chinese see conflicts as opportunities to improve harmony in relationships. On the other hand, since ambition, interest, perception to issues, ego, differ in relationships, conflicts are bound to take place.
Forgiveness captures the attention of almost all world religions .Their teachings provide an underlying basis for many varying modern day traditions and practices of forgiveness. Some religious doctrines or philosophies place greater emphasis on the need for humans to find some sort of divine forgiveness for their own shortcomings, others place greater emphasis on the need for humans to practice forgiveness of one another.
It is important to recognize that the ability to forgive does not make us better than the offender, rather, it demonstrates the wisdom of the forgiver in dealing with the issue. To forgive is to offer opportunity for a new beginning to the offender, and provides a process of healing