I can’t believe that this life I’m living is mine. If anybody ever told me that I would someday talk about my family with tears in my eyes and not childish anger in my heart, I would have thought the person was insane or something close to it. But, a whole lot has happened in the past few days and as I write, my hands are shaking and my heart is bleeding. Wait, let me go and lock my door.
Ok. I’m back. Remember mummy was in the hospital the last time? She didn’t die. She just came back paralyzed. I can’t explain how it happened but she can’t move half of her body and she’s just been in the wheelchair since then. Nobody agreed to tell me anything substantial so I’m telling you exactly what I see. She’s either crying or crying actually. She’s always cursing herself and God and daddy. My grandparents took care of all the hospital bills and wanted to take her home but she said she wouldn’t leave her family. They said they’d take all of us and she still said she wouldn’t go. So, off Kene went with my grandparents while I’ve been here with mummy. In my heart, I wish she died. I know. But, she’s in too much pain and she’s still denying that daddy is cheating on her. Something she saw by herself. She’s refusing to eat which means no drugs for her and she’s turning into a ghost in her own house. Her businesses, the fashion house, everything including my schooling is on hold all because my mum is in the wheelchair. Daddy comes back home. The shameless man. He comes back, eats whatever he sees in the kitchen, goes into his room and locks everyone away. In the morning, he dresses up and disappears again to come back at midnight and continue the same cycle. He never says a word to mummy. He never says anything to me either. Exams are in two weeks and I’m here tending to my mum because she said she didn’t want any help from her parents and daddy has continued to act like he can’t see that his wife needs help.
GODDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What the hell happened? What happened to my family? I’m just 14! I just clocked 14 yesterday and nobody remembered. I didn’t remember either because I was busy trying to make mummy stop crying the whole day. I finally called Doctor Dee and told him I can’t deal with all that crap and he gave me some drugs that make her go to sleep for some hours. That’s the reason I can write to you. I’m tired. I spoke to Kene yesterday and he said everybody at school asks of me and he doesn’t know what to tell them. My heart is broken and I’m confused. I don’t know what to do. This problem moved from nothing to everything in just one second.
And for God’s sake, can someone help me tell my mum that she’s not punishing daddy? The man is probably still sleeping around and who knows if he threw a party when he realized she couldn’t shout and smash things again? Can someone help me tell my mum that she needs more professional care and Doctor Dee cannot always be available for her even though he’s her cousin? God!
I can’t continue writing. I’m so hurt. I feel so pained. I can’t. I just want to leave here and run away and never return, please.
TO BE CONTINUED…