Let me admit my fears to you,and incase you think I don't have any..? I'm sorry because I do,forget the fact that I look tough around the edges with all shades of perfection glowing through me. I've got my own share of stuggles and imperfection too. Sometimes i conceal the real me with underneath those nicely coated make-ups and finely fitted dresses. The real me sometimes isn't given much expression for fear of being misunderstood,misinterpreted, and Judged. Well, I don't blame you atimes for your idea of me ,but hey I get broken too and alot powerless than you could ever imagine.
I'm writing to you,so you change that idea of me you have.Hell no, I'm not some sort of super-woman!! I have my highs and lows and stuggles like everyone else.
Dear Dairy, Today I decide to step out from the shadow of your believe of me. I'm not everything you see. My scars are as clear as stars but sometimes I seem to be the only one battling with these insecurities. And I ask myself why...? People only see what they choose to see.
Dear Dairy, It's not always easy being me. The girl I see in the mirror is far from the girl I want to be! My dreams seems so far from my reality and I get wondering,why I'm so far off from becoming all my soul yearns for. I'm tired of working damn hard to get the things I want,it breaks my heart atimes you know. Seeing most people have those things they don't even need, then why me..? Why has life chosen to be this way,when I want it to be a certain way!!
When will dreams ever come true? I'm caught up in a reality I didn't ask for, a life that has taken away from me those I love in an exchange of memories that would never turn back the hands of time. But what if I were a super-woman in real life.? A woman that could bring things back to how they were. If only tears have magical powers,death would have brought back my loved ones again!!
Sometimes life seem to be too much like a story line in a movie than real life!! Things happen too fast, before we could blink our eyes ,we translate into different days,bringing us all the way up closer to our old age. Awww Maturity is a scary reality! It comes with responsibilities that we can't escape. For some of us, making us walk in the shoes of motherhood right in our parents house,for others taking on the duties of fatherhood even in their youth.
But even though age never ceases play a trick on us,and time is not always on our side. I've made a decision to never leave my fate in the hands of destiny" I decide my future now, I'm not going to wait for destiny to take its course No!! I'm choosing to create the life I want to happen. Yes! I'm holding the script of my life,I choose how to write it.
Dear Dairy, You know I'm a big girl now..huh..? But that's never going to be a ticket for misbehaving, I don't have enough time to waste on those things that will not add color to my world or help in shaping and creating a bright future for me. With all that has happened to me,how death took away those that really mattered from my life,it has made me to understand that we all are on a jorney in life with a destination that would someday be reached. So being a Traveller on Earth, I'm deciding not to make a wrong turn,of course with the help of God.
So with the little time entrusted to me by my creator to live on Earth, I promise to make good use of it. I owe it to myself and my parents who left ahead of me. But most especially to my creator who has made me a recipient of his breath, to lead a meaningful and purposeful life.