Broken Home

By Ukeme Elijah 7 months ago

Mother – that one word that cannot be defined in a single phrase; that one

word that embodies all the love a human being could possibly offer.

A mother is not just someone who gives birth to a child. If you ask me, a

mother represents the combination of feelings, behaviors and sacrifices

that occur while raising a child, whether the child is biologically hers or not.

Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. Only

mothers can think of the future because they give birth to it in their

children.

The love of a mother alone is enough to keep the doctor away when a

child is sick, Mothers are gods. Their presence in a child's life cannot be

underestimated.

But that was not the case for Imelda, she grew up void of such love, care

and affection. Raised by her father who, though not a military man made

the house a Regimented zone in a manner typical of trained army

personnels. Imelda was raised in a family of five, she happened to be the

last but one of her siblings; three boys and two girls. Imelda had little or

no memories of her mother. As an infant She could recollect her father

beat her mother and all Imelda could do was cry, she would cry her eyes out but that never for once made her father stop the lashes even for the

sake of the helpless child.

At the age of three she was already acquainted with domestic violence.

Such beatings became routine and no longer attracted the sympathy of

neighbours. Imelda’s little mind became unwittingly programmed with

resentment and sadness. That’s to be expected when a child is raised in

such a hostile environment.

The ENVIRONMENT that a child is raised is a key factor to the quality of life

the child will have growing up. It can negatively or positively affect all

domains of aw child’s development. Well, in this case, we need not say.

One day her mother in the midst of struggling for her dear life escaped

death by an inch, after her husband broke her head with a heavy metal

and blood gushed out like a running tap, She managed to run out, half

naked with her wrapper in hand. Before now Imelda’s mother has been

living intermittently in her own home, she would always come back for her

children but this time, her people warned that she should safe her life and

that they won’t be part of it if anything happens to her the umpteenth

time. She left her children and belongings which she cried everyday to take possession but her husband wouldn't let her step a foot in his house let

alone let her see her children.

Imelda lived with this since then and didn't know who to blame her father

or mother. This tragedy affected her performance in school and her self

esteem, feelings of abandonment, guilt, worry and blame, she was

struggling emotionally, anger and sadness were normal for her. When she

sees her classmates in school being picked up by their parents, she would

not help being bitter. The food she gets back to eat wasn’t there anymore,

her father would give her and her siblings money to buy food from a

restaurant close to their house, when that seemed more expensive, he

resorted to getting a house help which her job was to cook, clean and

wash. At that tender age they had to wake up to the reality of life. At age

eight, Imelda and her elder sister learnt how to cook, and slowly they had

no need for the house help.

Tragedy struck again, It was just the beginning of a new year when her

aunty called to break the cold news that made the celebration of the

season turn sour. Their mother’s death. At that instance, one could clearly

see fear and shock strolling around the room, everyone dropped dump,

tears and questions filled the remaining part of the time. Since her mother had separated from her father she had little or no idea how she was

fairing. Imelda felt her world come to stand still, when she thought she is

coming of age to take care of her mother. Imelda was eighteen she was

done with secondary education at that time. She couldn’t comprehend why

her world has been up and down, she wanted to give up, she wanted to

throw in the towel.

After years of fighting all these, she came to terms with herself, her inner

self kept telling her that better days are ahead backed with the teachings

from God’s word in her religious congregation. She found strength to keep

going, she got inspired knowing that her father and mother had chosen

their parts and she has the decision to choose hers, she got to understand

that she has the power to shape her future and she made the decision to

see life past what her past served her, she forgave her father and took

responsibility of her future. She vowed to have one of the best marriages

in the world, she vowed to raise a Godly home and love her husband and

children dearly, a quarrel free home she vowed to have. 

She broke free from the shambles of hate, grudges and bitterness.

The damage a broken home poses on a child cannot be over emphasized,

but in our society we keep seeing divorce, the child’s emotions and

psychology is not considered. Some marriages last the distance; others fall

by the wayside. Today all you need to do is turn on the TV and you’ll hear

about couples in the limelight and out of the limelight who are getting

divorced, they seem to be getting divorced left, right and centre.

Kids get affected by divorce the most, more than the bickering adults and

feuding families. This effects may not be immediately evident. Some

feelings fester and then manifest in different ways – Negative ways:

LACK OF SELF-CONFIDENCE, DEPRESSION, ACADEMIC DEVELOPMENT,

EMOTIONAL TURMOIL, ANTI-SOCIAL BEHAVIOR, IRRATIONAL FEARS AND

ANXIETY, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, STOPS KIDS BEING KIDS to mention a

few.

Let’s marry for the right reasons, let’s make Godly homes, let’s love from

the heart, let’s build conducive environment for proper child development,

let’s build our children right because when we build them, we are building

our future, our nation and our generation.

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Ukeme Elijah
@Blackgold
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