...It was always an option, but I had no choice. I killed the very thing I'd always wanted because it came to me at a wrong time for a wrong reason as a result of a wrong decision.
I'll admit to the fact that I was depressed, frustrated, stagnated and I had my world crumbling before my very eyes. In a bid to salvage my already fading problem, I got a phone call which was a light at the end of the tunnel but only got close enough to realize it was the enemy's torch and an ambush.
Trapped in mixed emotions and thoughts, I hoped for the one thing I'd always prayed for to never become my reality. Then, I saw a sign...
I evolved to a walking think tank, an embodiment of emotions, a tour guide without a path - this was a threat to everything.
What would happen to my beliefs, principles, values, school of thought, dreams, goals, everything? - Because all of these made up my life. I thought about all I stood to lose and gain as a result of a decision. What if I didn't make it? I couldn't fizzle out a single thing- I was blank!
Shouting for help, groaning in pain, crying my last, I had memories of great times and people play out; I laughed in my sorrow and all I heard was: "A seed dies so a plant can grow".
These words sparked something in me. I felt the bolts and nuts in my brain tighten, I was given a vision and had to run with it. Despite the pain and agony; regardless of the situation, I knew there was hope for a tree that was cut down.
It's difficult letting go, but one thing dies to birth more. I killed it, but it birthed me...