I laid in my bedroom with my earpiece plugged in one ear. I listened to one of my favourite songs—suitcase by Sia—as a hard thump came right outside my window.
“What’s that noise?” I took my earpiece off and got up. I listened quietly to be sure, as it came again.
Fully alerted, I made for the balcony, as I looked down to know who it was. “Samuel?” I was shocked to see my boyfriend standing just below. I wasn’t expecting to see him there, but I was happy that he could come. “Sammy, what are you doing here?”
He frowned at my question. “Aren’t you happy to see me?”
“It’s not that,”
He smiled. “Hang on. Be there in a minute!”
I blushed as he climbed right up. I hugged him the moment he hopped in, while he made no attempt to hug me back. “What’s wrong?”
“We need to talk!” he said, not smiling.
I led him inside and locked the door of my room so no one would disturb. I wanted to hear all about it, and was eager to know if I could be of help.
“So, what do you wanna talk about?”
He gave no response.
I looked at him for a minute, feeling uncomfortable with the way he was acting, as he finally broke the silence. “You know I love you, right?”
I blushed inwardly, though wondering why he had said that. Noticing how icily he sounded, I wanted to ask if he was all right, but decided not to do so. His voice sounded really different, getting me flushed with worry. It was weird not hearing him speak sweetly like his normal self, making me go thinking that I had said something wrong.
“Sammy,” I called gently. “Sammy, are you alright?” I couldn’t help thinking the opposite, as my heart raced faster than I could count.
“Just answer me,” he said with a wave of his hand, and I affirmed shakily, with voice more of a whisper.
I felt his hands leave mine, and I could feel my insides burn without cause. The atmosphere wasn’t making it any better, as I could feel the sweat already gathered on my forehead, rolling down my face.
“Sammy, why are you acting like this?” I could hear myself ask consciously.
“I really don’t want to hurt you, Nita. I don’t want to hurt you—” he muttered in a tone I could make out perfectly.
Hurt me—I sat confused. “I don’t understand,” I moved closer to make sure I had heard right.
The fan which was rotating, was making such noise that had gotten me wincing, but I couldn’t worry about it as all I wanted was to know why Samuel had come all this way to mutter strange words.
“Sammy, tell me what you mean by that. Why are you saying all this?” I wanted answers. I needed him to explain to me what he meant—unaware that it was going to be our last.
He got up from beside me, and I got up alongside. He stood quiet still, while I slipped my hands under his, hugging him from behind. I didn’t care if he was having a hard time telling me whatever thing he had in mind… I just needed to be with him at that moment; to be there for him, and to know what was it that was making him not talk.
I cupped my toes, with feet raised partly, as I rested my chin on his shoulder, placing light kisses on the side of his neck.
“Nita, stop!” he said to my surprise.
Having the ounce to speak, I said, “You’re acting weird,” I complained. “Why won’t you just tell me what it is that’s bothering you?!” I said, half a question.
The boat of love that I was sailing in, got turned over at the unexpected call. It felt as though the whole place was shaking, with everything around me vibrating on all grounds.
I could only hear the “B” word ringing constantly in my head, as I wished the rotating noise would just cure me of it.
Why won’t it stop?!!
“No! No, you’re joking, right?” I stood shaken with fear as tears flushed my pumpkin cheeks.
The boy who I’d thought had loved me, looked me straight in the eye and said nothing more, placing just a kiss on my forehead—that was going to be the last—that’d ever be!
Samuel 💔 Anita